


Storms of Memories

by AuroraRebellion



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Emmeryn regains some memories and Frederick bottles things up a lot, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I needed more content for these two so enjoy, Post-Fall Emmeryn, Prepare for tears. Lots of tears, Sibling Fluff, also, the good stuff, with Emm and her brother and sister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 10:51:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13075332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraRebellion/pseuds/AuroraRebellion
Summary: Frederick’s so guarded and quiet, she wonders what she's done to make him close himself off like this. Maybe the years have changed him, maybe the war and the things he’s seen have made him into someone she doesn't know.But as she reaches up and runs her hand through his hair, it’s still just as soft as she remembers (she’s beginning to like that word, 'remember,' the way it sounds on her tongue), and he tilts his head slightly, almost leaning into her touch.





	Storms of Memories

**Author's Note:**

> OK I LOVE THEM A LOT THANK U

“Frederick! Frederick!”  
He turns to see who’s calling, and for just a moment Emmeryn’s presence startles him. It still feels like a dream, her being there, her being alive… If it was a dream though, at the very least he will enjoy her company until this is turned into a nightmare. ( _The feeling of falling still sticks with him from last night, but he stuffs it down. He can never tell Emmeryn, it would upset her._ )  
“Ah, good morning m’lady. Is something wrong?” He asks. Emmeryn shakes her head, blonde hair flying everywhere. She looks like she might have just rolled out of bed, and she’s out of breath, but there’s a smile on her face unlike anything he’s seen from her in years. ( _He hadn’t seen her at all for over two of those years but that’s besides the point._ )  
“No! No- I- Frederick, _you_ -” Emmeryn’s stumbling over her words and fishing for ones that can express the concepts in her head. It seems her old eloquent speech was something she had forgotten, but for now it doesn’t seem to bother her. “-You, and everyone, I… I don’t… How I can…” She’s getting a little over-excited, and Frederick worries that it won’t be good for her, so he steps closer.  
“M’lady, it’s alright. Take your time; I have plenty to spare this early in the morning,” he says. Emmeryn furrows her eyebrows.  
“No, no, you don’t-” she doesn’t have the words she doesn’t have the words how can she tell him she’s so _happy_ but at the same time this hurts to know now-- “You can’t! I can’t! I can- I know! Who you- what they-” She stops when she senses Frederick tense, and hears him gasp, ever so quietly.  
“M’lady, do you mean to say…” His voice is soft and he’s trying not to be expressive, but she can hear the guarded hope in his tone, which means he understands, thank Naga. It hurts a little to see him trying not to hope, but he understands. “Do you mean to say… You... Remembered a little more of the past?” It’s not exactly as accurate as she’d like it to be, but he’s right, so she nods.  
He doesn’t react loudly, to her surprise. She expected shouting and hugging and calling everyone, but instead he nods. He’s quiet and professional and it’s a little odd to see now when she can remember the times they would talk, when it was his turn to guard the door, or when he stopped in the castle courtyard to make flower chains out of the weeds Lissa could find, or after he was done helping Chrom train. She could remember his quiet smile and his rapt attention to Lissa’s stories, and the stern set of his brow when Chrom refused to correct his stance… But she couldn’t remember anything that would explain his reaction now.  
“I see. We ought to find m’lord Chrom and m’lady Lissa, and alert them of this news,” he says. There’s a smile on his face, but it doesn’t feel right. It feels… Professional. Emmeryn frowns, and he looks confused. “...Is something wrong, m’lady?”  
He looks worried and almost frightened at the thought of displeasing her, so she quickly shakes her head.  
“No, you… It.. is fine. Let’s go,” she says. Frederick looks relieved, and starts walking towards the tents that belong to Chrom and Lissa, respectively. Emmeryn follows quietly, watching how he carries himself. He hasn’t changed much at all, from what she can remember, except his shoulders seem a little more slumped, he seems a little more stressed. She wishes she could help him relax some.  
“M’lord, are you awake?” Frederick calls into the tent. Someone calls to him, unintelligible and tired, and he nods as if he understands. “Of course. Please come as quickly as possible, it’s important.”  
Emmeryn hums to herself, while Frederick stands at attention next to the tent flap. It’s just like they were at the castle again. ...Only this time, she doesn’t know how to talk to him.  
“What is it, Frederick?” Chrom asks, stepping out of the tent. His hair looks even messier than usual, which makes it quite obvious that he just got out of bed. Frederick frowns.  
“...Excuse me a moment m’lord, but I simply can’t remain serious with your hair in such disarray…” He says, and steps forward, combing his hands through Chrom’s hair. Chrom gives an exaggerated eyeroll and looks over at Emmeryn, who smiles a little and shrugs. She can’t do anything when Frederick switches into his ‘mothering mode’ as they call it. Chrom glances over again, and she wonders why he looks so confused.  
“Now,” Frederick announces, taking a step back and nodding in satisfaction, “That’s _much_ better. And thus I can continue with my report. M’lady Emmeryn has shared with me some information I believe you would find important, but I believe it would be best for her to share herself.” He looks over to Emmeryn, and she straightens up.  
“I… I don’t… I can… I know who- who you… Are,” she says. Chrom’s eyes widen, and he looks between Frederick and Emmeryn.  
“You know? Emm, you mean, you remember?” He asks. Emmeryn nods and his expression splits into a huge, boyish smile. “You- Emm! Emm! You really- oh, Emm!” He shakes Frederick’s arm, then runs to Emmeryn, throwing his arms around her. “Sis! You’re--” His voice keeps cracking, so he stops talking, just burying his face in the crook of her neck. She returns the hug, wrapping her arms around her little brother. He might be crying, which she supposes isn’t a surprise. He cried when they reunited earlier too. She almost feels like crying a little herself, but she swallows hard and ignores it. Crying isn’t worth the energy when Lissa still needs to know as well. She hopes Lissa will also be happy, causing more sadness is the last thing she wants to do… Speaking of Lissa.  
“Frederick… Can you please go… wake Lissa?” She asks. Frederick nods.  
“Of course, m’lady,” he replies. Emmeryn watches him walk away, once again noting the tension in his shoulders. He’s always too tense. Was he that tense when they were younger, even just two years ago? She can’t remember.  
Chrom sniffles and steps away, rubbing his eyes. Emmeryn rubs his arm, and he smiles at her.  
“Sorry, Emm, I just… _Gods._ I never thought… I was prepared for you to never remember,” he says. Emmeryn nods.  
“I… Didn’t think I would… Either. But I… Did, and I’m… Happy. Happy I remember,” she says. Chrom laughs.  
“I am too,” he agrees.  
“Chrom, Emm, what’s the deal? Frederick woke me up and said it was important...”  
Lissa runs up to her elder siblings, with Frederick close behind. Her hair is pulled back in a bun, and instantly both Chrom and Emmeryn know exactly who must have hastily done her hair.  
“Good news!” Chrom says, stepping aside. “Sis remembered some more!” Lissa gasps, clapping her hands over her mouth.  
“Really?! Emm, is that true?!” She shouts. Emmeryn laughs softly.  
“Yes, it’s true. I… Remember you, and Chrom. I’m sorry, for… Not, until now,” she says, but Lissa shakes her head.  
“Don’t apologize! I’m just really happy you remember now… Don’t do anything like that again, ok?” She orders, and Chrom now laughs.  
“I don't think any of us would choose to forget, Lissa,” he chides. Lissa looks down at her feet, then runs over and hugs both Chrom and Emmeryn.  
“I know!” She says, “So try not to do it again!”  
“I will try,” Emmeryn says, tousling her little sister’s hair. Lissa nods.  
“I'll hold you to that!” She promises.  
Frederick looks like he's smiling naturally now as he walks past, yet Emmeryn still feels like he doesn't quite understand- or maybe it's her that doesn't understand, but either way there's some sort of barrier between them. Something that didn't used to be there.  
Eventually her siblings have to go attend to duties, after stories they all remember begin to run out (she still has plenty of gaps in her memory unfortunately), but she finds that now she can go find Frederick and properly talk to him. ...Well, given her current speech, ‘properly’ is a bit much, but she intends to do her best to be understood.  
He's in his own tent, humming a tune as he works on mending a tear in one of Lissa’s dresses. He stops humming when Emmeryn walks in, and the moment of silence doesn’t feel right.  
“Lady Emmeryn. Did Lissa send you to fetch her dress? I'm sorry to report it's not finished yet…” He says. Emmeryn shakes her head, and goes to sit down by him on the edge of the bed. If this confuses or flusters him, he's doing an excellent job of pretending it isn't. ( _She did this when she wanted to talk but didn't want to intrude, back then, does she want to talk now? He isn't sure what to say._ )  
“I didn't come for… For her dress,” Emmeryn says. “I wanted… to talk… to you.”  
“To me?” Frederick asks. “M’lady, you flatter me… but if I may, what is so urgent you must find me in my own tent?”  
“I… I don't… You don't… Know,” she murmurs, and Frederick leans in a little, as if to understand her meaning better.  
“I'm sorry m’lady, I don't understand. Is that an accusation? If I've done something wrong, it's escaped my attention,” he says. Did he do something to upset Emmeryn? Should he have let her decide when to tell her siblings, should he have expressed more happiness himself? He isn't sure and all he knows is he's going to be worrying about it all day now.  
“No, it isn’t… Something bad,” Emmeryn replies, and while that calms one subject of worry it sparks off about five more. Does she need advice, is there a new member of the Shepherds he needs to train, or is it something else entirely?  
“Then pray tell what it is,” he says. “As it is, you have in me in the clutches of suspense!” His words make Emmeryn smile, and it’s just as gentle and sweet as he remembers ( _it hurts a little bit to remember now, the way she would smile and bid him goodnight after a report, but he holds onto those memories anyways_ ).  
“I think… You don’t… Understand…” She says. Frederick frowns.  
“How so?” He asks.  
“I said I… R-re-” -what’s the word she knows this- “...Know. Can…” -wait that’s it- “..Remember. I… Remember… You, Frederick.” Finding these words is tiring, and she wants to stop and rest, but this is important.  
“I know, m’lady,” he says. “You've told me this.”  
“But you don't…! You don't… I remember _you_ ,” she says, taking one of his hands in her own. Her hands seem small and frail compared to his, rough and calloused from years of fighting and training. ...She can sense him freeze at her touch, with how his shoulders go tense, and his fingers twitch as if he’s considering recoiling. Does she frighten him? Is that why he's been so reserved?  
“I consider that unsurprising, m’lady. I spent a good deal of time in the company of m’lord Chrom and m’lady Lissa, so naturally you would remember me in some capacity if you remembered much of their childhoods.” Frederick’s so guarded and quiet, she wonders what she's done to make him close himself off like this. Maybe the years have changed him, maybe the war and the things he’s seen have made him into someone she doesn't know.  
But as she reaches up and runs her hand through his hair, it’s still just as soft as she remembers (she’s beginning to like that word, ‘remember,’ the way it sounds on her tongue), and he tilts his head slightly, almost leaning into her touch. He always was so scared to accept her affection, as if it was wrong to do so. She knew many people had been pushing her to marry (why? She didn't remember), but she never wanted to. At least, not if she had to marry a noble. None of the men who used to court her really stood out, they were all a little too similar, a little too guarded, a little too well-spoken. She didn't mind their company, but as a partner, a co-ruler? She didn't want someone like that.  
Frederick has his eyes closed, she realizes, and he’s actually leaning against her hand just a little… he looks like he’s about to fall asleep, really. She’s half-tempted to see if he would.  
“Frederick?” She softly calls. Frederick jumps, bolting upright and focusing on her. He looks tired, but his pure surprise makes her laugh.  
“Were you asleep?” She asks. Frederick shakes his head, acting very serious, but the red in his cheeks makes it hard for her to take him all that seriously.  
“Of course not, m’lady! If I had fallen asleep, I could have fallen on you, or began doing something unbecoming like _snoring…_ I would never outlive the shame of being seen in such a manner!” He says. Emmeryn laughs again, and he knows his cheeks must be crimson right now, this is outright mortifying--  
She sits up on her knees and begins playing with his hair again, and gods curse him, it takes all his self-control to not lean into her touch and seek out her affection. It's been over three years, but he’s still a lovesick _puppy_. It's humiliating, but he'd never consider Emmeryn the problem. She’s sweet, and kind, and caring, and gentle, and calming, so of course people flock to her, but if word got out her guard- if he- he can't even say it in his thoughts!  
“You're… you should relax,” Emmeryn says. It's casual, and he only just now realizes how tense he's been holding his shoulders. It takes work to force himself to let his guard down, even a little, but it seems to make Emmeryn happy.  
“My apologies m’lady,” he says.  
“Don't,” she replies. He quickly looks up as if she had shouted, so she elaborates. “Don't… Say sorry. It's not… Needed.”  
“I see. My- er, I'll endeavor to remedy that behavior,” he says. He sounds unsure, which is unusual, but as much as she wants him to let down his guard around her, she feels a little bad for making him worry.  
“No… worries. But Frederick, do you… Remember?”  
“Remember what, m’lady?”  
“When we were… younger. We would sit… I would… Do this… and talk. Lissa,” Emmeryn pauses for a moment and allows herself a smile. “Lissa would… Do hair…”  
“I remember,” Frederick replies. He's getting quieter, and she can't tell if it's good or bad.  
“And you would… tell me of… The world. Of your family… Of the woods… I remember… One night, you… Guarded me. You… seemed scared. You said it was,” this memory is still fresh in her mind, as she only remembered it today. Bits of it still slip from her grasp, but she can recall his words; “...Nothing but a nightmare. I… asked, and you told me… Of a wolf. You still have… scars… “ She’s focused on a tangle in Frederick’s hair, but she still sees his eyes widen before he looks down at his hands, which are clasped in his lap.  
“...Perhaps I underestimated the extent you now recall,” he says. Emmeryn slides a hand down from the top of his head to his cheek. ( _Her gentleness nearly breaks his resolve to remain distant_.)  
“I… Find new things. Small remember- remembering--”  
“Memories?” He offers. She nods.  
“Small memories. But that was… important. And you… Remembered. You told me you… never stopped… Hoping.”  
Its getting hard to talk about this, but Emmeryn wants to have this discussion, so he takes a deep breath, then another. And another, because he can't seem to calm down properly.  
“I never forgot,” he manages. “I kept this fool’s hope that maybe, you were out there and unharmed. I wanted to imagine you, content and free of the things that sent you- that led to your-”  
Her fall, Emmeryn falling, and Emmeryn landing, and Emmeryn dead and everyone crying but he didn't have time to cry, he had to keep things organized, keep things mended and patched and restocked, and keep everyone going, but he can't do it forever, he can't relive that, he can't tell her that, he can't- he can’t--  
Emmeryn is quiet and calm and gentle and when she calls his name he remembers to breathe again. Her arms slip around his neck and he shouldn't be allowing this, he should be keeping a reasonable distance to the former Exalt, this isn't professional or right especially when her memory is riddled with holes, but he still misses her so much, and all the times he didn't allow himself to cry keep coming up and hitting him in waves, and it _hurts_ to live through them again, so all he has the strength to do is cling to her until the storm blows over.  
The entire time, she's whispering in his ear, and he can't quite understand all of what she's saying, but her voice is a quiet lifeline, and he clings to her all the more.

When everything finally passes, he finds he's too tired to move much. Emmeryn surely knows he's calmer, but she makes no move to push him away, which just for now he's grateful for. She still keeps running a hand through his hair, and despite himself he keeps drifting off. ...Trying to stay awake becomes a futile effort when she begins humming.

(Lissa and Chrom find Frederick sound asleep, snoring softly with his head resting on Emmeryn’s lap. They all agree he needs the rest, and thus the younger two tip-toe out.)


End file.
